Post by loveisadoughnut on Oct 4, 2009 17:25:07 GMT -5
Today, Mary-Ann wrote:
After our conference call yesterday, I was on such a high, but today, I am feeling pretty low. When will this grief end? Maybe I need to pray more for peace of mind.
Ohhhh MA, I hear ya. I know the grief is hard. And the roller coaster of emotion is getting old.
Back in the earlier days...say around week two A.M. (after Michael), I was asking Michael that I needed to do to heal my aching heart. Here's the conversation:
Me: Michael, what do I have to do to heal my heart? It hurts so bad, I feel like I've been shattered into a million pieces that will never find their way back together. I'll do anything to end this pain, please tell me what I need to do.
Michael: When I felt like that, I would dance.
Me: (laughing through tears) Michael, I can't dance. I fall down just walking across the room I'm so klutzy.
Michael: Why don't you write something? That always makes you feel better.
Me: How do you know that?
Michael: :::giggle:::
Me: (smiling) You devil, how did you know that?
Michael: You opened your heart to me. I know you.
Me: Hmmm...well I wouldn't even know what to write.
Michael: You know how it works. Just let it flow out of you, no matter what it is.
Me: Yeah, maybe I'll try that.
He was right of course. It did help me. But there was only so much I could write before I was just repeating myself. So eventually, I needed to find a new creative outlet to ease my grief. Not everyone writes, just like not everyone makes music or paints. Everyone has their own creative ability.
For some, this takes the form of art, but for others it takes the form of ....well, like what we're doing here with the forum - creating change, healing, the spreading of love and hope. Creation doesn't have to be about art. Anything that can be imagined can be created.
Perhaps the sense of urgency you feel to do more is simply your creative heart asking you to find a way to use it to move through and release your grief.
We've talked about how you like to be a part of a team and make a group effort. And here we are doing that with the forum But maybe in addition to the group activities, you need to take an independent action of some kind. Let the forum and the love of it's members inspire you to courage. Take the leap to do a little something by yourself
You can connect it to the forum - or not. It's completely up to you Let us be your safety net when you step out there alone on to the precipice of personal creativity. We got your back
Just a little something for you to think about
But the point is, each of us must find the outlet for grief that works for us. For me, that was writing, forum design, connecting with others, etc.
I know how much you love Michael's ballads. I very gently suggest that you consider changing what you're listening to for a little while. Perhaps some of his happier, fun songs? Or perhaps another artist altogether?
I had to finally do that because I just needed to step away from that energy for awhile. It felt so wrong. Felt like sacrilege! LOL. But after just a couple days of listening to other artists for the first time in three months, I realized it's what I needed to break the cycle that was feeding my own pain.
And after just a couple days, I was able to return to Michael's music with a fresh perspective. And now it brings me joy rather than sorrow. And I discovered something too, through this process. I just really like Michael's music. It makes me feel good and inspires me to action.
You know...one thing Michael did with his music...and I just LOVE this about him by the way...is that he inserted double meanings in to everything he did.
There is the surface and obvious meaning of the lyrics. This meaning appeals to the masses, gets the ladies going, and sells a lot of records. And then there is the deeper meaning. Put there specifically to appeal to the people that are capable of hearing it.
Example: Hold My Hand...a lovely ballad that on the surface suggests that a lonely man is asking a lovely lady to take his hand and spend the night together. It's luscious and romantic.
But when you listen on a deeper level, what is heard is a man who is asking others to take his hand for a larger purpose. He tells us that it is senseless and stupid to suffer alone in silence. And that alone, not much can be accomplished, but that together, people become unstoppable. Together, they we joyful and proactive and creative. He tells us that this is the way to an inner peace - and we know that inner peace creates outer peace (because all begins with self). He tell us that if we stick together through the darkness, we will see the light soon enough. He tells us that the alternative is to sit alone in the darkness.
I don't know about you, but I find that message to be deeply reassuring, uplifting, and inspiring. Music isn't just entertainment.
The right kind of music is the highest possible spiritual vibration. When we use it in the way in which it was intended to be used, it is nothing short of life changing.
I encourage you to step away from music that feeds your pain for a few days, with the intent that when you return to it, you will be able to hear the deeper meaning and absorb it's vibration into your spirit.
I can't promise you that this will work for you, as different things work for different people, but this is one of the things that worked for me
Peace,
Nut
After our conference call yesterday, I was on such a high, but today, I am feeling pretty low. When will this grief end? Maybe I need to pray more for peace of mind.
Ohhhh MA, I hear ya. I know the grief is hard. And the roller coaster of emotion is getting old.
Back in the earlier days...say around week two A.M. (after Michael), I was asking Michael that I needed to do to heal my aching heart. Here's the conversation:
Me: Michael, what do I have to do to heal my heart? It hurts so bad, I feel like I've been shattered into a million pieces that will never find their way back together. I'll do anything to end this pain, please tell me what I need to do.
Michael: When I felt like that, I would dance.
Me: (laughing through tears) Michael, I can't dance. I fall down just walking across the room I'm so klutzy.
Michael: Why don't you write something? That always makes you feel better.
Me: How do you know that?
Michael: :::giggle:::
Me: (smiling) You devil, how did you know that?
Michael: You opened your heart to me. I know you.
Me: Hmmm...well I wouldn't even know what to write.
Michael: You know how it works. Just let it flow out of you, no matter what it is.
Me: Yeah, maybe I'll try that.
He was right of course. It did help me. But there was only so much I could write before I was just repeating myself. So eventually, I needed to find a new creative outlet to ease my grief. Not everyone writes, just like not everyone makes music or paints. Everyone has their own creative ability.
For some, this takes the form of art, but for others it takes the form of ....well, like what we're doing here with the forum - creating change, healing, the spreading of love and hope. Creation doesn't have to be about art. Anything that can be imagined can be created.
Perhaps the sense of urgency you feel to do more is simply your creative heart asking you to find a way to use it to move through and release your grief.
We've talked about how you like to be a part of a team and make a group effort. And here we are doing that with the forum But maybe in addition to the group activities, you need to take an independent action of some kind. Let the forum and the love of it's members inspire you to courage. Take the leap to do a little something by yourself
You can connect it to the forum - or not. It's completely up to you Let us be your safety net when you step out there alone on to the precipice of personal creativity. We got your back
Just a little something for you to think about
But the point is, each of us must find the outlet for grief that works for us. For me, that was writing, forum design, connecting with others, etc.
I know how much you love Michael's ballads. I very gently suggest that you consider changing what you're listening to for a little while. Perhaps some of his happier, fun songs? Or perhaps another artist altogether?
I had to finally do that because I just needed to step away from that energy for awhile. It felt so wrong. Felt like sacrilege! LOL. But after just a couple days of listening to other artists for the first time in three months, I realized it's what I needed to break the cycle that was feeding my own pain.
And after just a couple days, I was able to return to Michael's music with a fresh perspective. And now it brings me joy rather than sorrow. And I discovered something too, through this process. I just really like Michael's music. It makes me feel good and inspires me to action.
You know...one thing Michael did with his music...and I just LOVE this about him by the way...is that he inserted double meanings in to everything he did.
There is the surface and obvious meaning of the lyrics. This meaning appeals to the masses, gets the ladies going, and sells a lot of records. And then there is the deeper meaning. Put there specifically to appeal to the people that are capable of hearing it.
Example: Hold My Hand...a lovely ballad that on the surface suggests that a lonely man is asking a lovely lady to take his hand and spend the night together. It's luscious and romantic.
But when you listen on a deeper level, what is heard is a man who is asking others to take his hand for a larger purpose. He tells us that it is senseless and stupid to suffer alone in silence. And that alone, not much can be accomplished, but that together, people become unstoppable. Together, they we joyful and proactive and creative. He tells us that this is the way to an inner peace - and we know that inner peace creates outer peace (because all begins with self). He tell us that if we stick together through the darkness, we will see the light soon enough. He tells us that the alternative is to sit alone in the darkness.
I don't know about you, but I find that message to be deeply reassuring, uplifting, and inspiring. Music isn't just entertainment.
The right kind of music is the highest possible spiritual vibration. When we use it in the way in which it was intended to be used, it is nothing short of life changing.
I encourage you to step away from music that feeds your pain for a few days, with the intent that when you return to it, you will be able to hear the deeper meaning and absorb it's vibration into your spirit.
I can't promise you that this will work for you, as different things work for different people, but this is one of the things that worked for me
Peace,
Nut