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Post by michaelslady on Dec 8, 2009 15:58:21 GMT -5
My name is Robyn. I'm 41 & I've loved Michael all my life. Thank you for making the "MJ Army"! I started leaving "JOIN THE MJ ARMY!" comment on people's You Tube & Sodahead profiles. But I didn't know an actual website existed! Thank you. Also, thanks for your help... Life is so hard... I have Sickle Cell Disease. I live in physical pain large & small everyday. The only man I ever loved (besides Michael, of course) was named Kelly. He died in 1995 & I never got over that death, either. (I hope they're friends now...) The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of achieving my goal. I always wanted to be an actress. I wanted to meet Michael & become his friend. (As a teenager, I wanted to marry him. But as I grew older, I let that go... but I still wanted to be his friend. Now, he's gone... & I can never be his friend.) Now, I'm afraid that my dream will never come true. What's the point? When I don't have the 1 person I wanted to share that with? & This world has become so dark, cold & mean. It hurts... it hurts so much... Where's the joy? What happened to the light?
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Post by MaryAnn Layton on Dec 8, 2009 16:10:44 GMT -5
Robyn, a warm welcome to you. We share your grief, and please know we already love you! Hard to believe, but MJ's Army is a lovey dovey group that's learned to connect with Michael's beautiful spirit, so please know his light still shines so brightly!
I'm sorry to hear you're suffering with your disease... I'm going to send healing energy to you right now, okay? I hope you can come to our Circle of Love on Thursday too!
Hugs,
Mal
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Post by karencanada on Dec 9, 2009 3:33:34 GMT -5
Michaelslady, Hi girl. Please don't give up on your goal. If Michael was your motivation in the past, let him remain so still..because even if you can never achieve the dream of knowing him in this life, this flesh, there is a greater knowing that can still happen. the energy that you felt in him, the love that he inspired in you, the desire to reach for beautiful dreams that he ignited in you, it is all just as real now as it was before you read the words, " King of Pop is dead". Before that day, though you had never met him, you still FELT him and LOVED him and were inspired by him...energy can't be destroyed, so HIS energy and your energy are still alive, are still here, and always will be. I don't know if it helps, but I think sometimes about meeting MJ when this life passes, and I think, that I want to be able to look into his eyes and tell him, I didn't let dreams die, his or mine, and that I used my talent and skill the way he inspired me to, my whole life. I feel your pain through your words, and I know that in the midst of grief and loss there are few words that can comfort, but I hope you believe that you are not alone, to steal words from Michael. You will feel light again, and hope, and healing, in your own time. The beautiful smile of Michael Jackson is proof that no matter what trials we are asked to bear in life, we can still find the heart of love if we try. I think this group has come together to help each other find that heart of love.... Peace, karen
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